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The Prince Finds a Slipper

On the night of the ball he met the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but before he was able to discover who she was she ran away.

Saddened, the prince followed her outside, but she was nowhere to be found. The only thing he saw was a slipper on the steps.

"She must have lost her slipper as she ran," he said, and went to pick it up.

The next day the prince told his father, "I will marry the girl who fits this slipper."

"But son, that slipper is huge and smelly," his father protested. "No woman with a slipper like that could possibly be the most beautiful in the land."

"Nevertheless, I will search the kingdom until she is found."

The prince and his footman searched and searched, but could not find a woman with a foot that fit the slipper. They did, however, manage to make the thing smellier than ever after all the women had tried it on.

They returned to the castle in defeat.

"We will never find her," the prince lamented.

"Here now, what are you doing with my slipper?" demanded a stout scullery maid. She marched right over and took it out of the footman's hand. "I've been looking everywhere for that thing."

The prince and the footman looked at each other in surprise as the maid put the slipper back on her foot.

"Maybe she cleans up nice?" the footman suggested.

"I hope so," said the prince.

And so the prince and the scullery maid were married, and she lived happily ever after.

Jacks Idea

The last thing I expected to find in the pumpkin patch were three musclebound hunks wearing jack-o-lantern heads. I froze in place, staring at their rigid...stems...as they all turned to look in my direction.

"Get her," shouted the apparent leader. "She's seen too much."

I scrambled backwards, but vines had now crept around my ankles, holding me fast as two of the men quickly came over and each grabbed one of my arms. In a flash of understanding I realized those were not vines, but rather tails. And the men who had ahold of me weren't men at all, they were some sort of aliens!

"Oh, my God, don't hurt me!" I gasped as I spotted their spaceship out in the nearby field.

"We won't hurt you, woman," the leader explained. "We simply must take you with us."

Panic flooded my system as these creatures all three turned and carried me out to their ship, bringing me aboard whether I wanted them to or not. The gangplank retracted, and I soon heard the whirl of the engines.

Through the windows I watched as the farm soon shrank to a dot, and then we had left the Earth behind entirely in the blink of an eye.

"Where are you taking me?" I gasped as one alien sat me on a chair and the others tied me to it at my wrists and my ankles.

"We have but two choices, sweetheart," said the leader. "Either bring you home as our bride, or..."

"Or what?" I squeaked miserably.

"Or simply shoot you out the airlock and watch you expire," said another man gruffly. "Your choice."

Of course, I'd be lying if I didn't admit, at least to myself, just how intrigued I was with this turn of events. I didn't know if they'd come by such hot bods naturally, or if they'd harvested some human men somehow, but these boys were ripped. All muscles and height and -- just right. And the pumpkin heads? Well, it might be a little weird, but nothing that I couldn't grow to like.

To hell with the second choice when the first one seemed so agreeable. I didn't know what all being the wife of three Jacks might entail, but it looked like I was about to find out. I'd just landed myself in the middle of one strange fairytale...