Chapter Three: Oh Heck!!

THREE

The trio of travelers and their little imp spent the greater part of the next few hours following the trail of gold. Not only did they get hopelessly lost, returning to the same spot several times, but when they finally did manage to get onto the right trail it led into a forest of giant stalactites and stalagmites. The sun disappeared from view, leaving them in the dark in the creepy place.

"Are you as nervous as I am, Lily?" Bob asked her as he latched onto her arm.

"Why are you nervous?" I asked. "You're the demon, I'm just a human."

"A human with some really awesome gloves," he pointed out. "I certainly can't call up a fireball with such ease, you know. It takes a lot out of a guy doing all that otherworldly stuff."

"But Bob, you're in otherworld, how come you call it that?"

"Oh, just so you'd know what I was talking about," he answered. "It never does hurt to work on one's communications skills when in the presence of a lady. Especially one as pretty as you."

"What the hell?" I gasped as his arm slid around my waist. "Are you flirting with me, Bob?"

"Um, maybe just a bit," he admitted as he let go and rubbed the back of his neck. I could tell he was blushing even in the dark, and I kind of liked it.

"I think you should know I've got a boyfriend back home," I said. "Not much of one, mind you. He's a lousy lay and he eats all my cashews and steals the remote, but I did kind of tell him I'd stop seeing other people if he did, so—"

"It's because I'm a demon, isn't it?" he inquired. "You can tell me if that's the trouble."

"Oh, no, not at all," I insisted. "I think you're a rather good-looking demon. If it wasn't for already having what's his name I'd probably be loving the fact that a demon like you would be into a girl like me."

"Truly?" he asked, looking up at me hopefully.

"Yes, truly," I answered, and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"That is good to know, Lily," he said as he kissed the top of my head in return.

I hate to admit it, but I kind of liked the way it felt. It wasn't just that he kissed my head, but that his hand—er, claw, whatever—slid down my back and rested just above my hip while he did it. I wondered if being in Hades was starting to make me go insane, or if I'd just discovered something about the inner workings of my mind I had not yet realized.

"Come on, we need to keep moving," I said softly.

"Will you two be quiet?" Pecos grumbled as he tumbled up to our feet. "I've been trying to get your attention for over three minutes now. Don't you hear that sound?"

We paused to listen, and a screeching bellow shook the rafters (or whatever the roof of a cave full of dangerously sharp rocks that could easily break loose and cause your demise might be called) and made Bob and I clung to each other again. Whatever it was, it was on the move, and it was headed in our direction.

"Oh, now ain't that cute?" Pecos commented as he looked at our proximity. "A regular picture perfect moment, and me without one of them fancy cameras."

"Oh, stop it," I grumbled as I let Bob go and he straightened up innocently. The imp started gnawing on my leg again, reminding me that I hadn't gotten to relieve myself recently. "You two wait here, I need to—um—well, go behind a stalagmite or something."

"Don't go too far," Bob warned me. "We don't know who—or what—that thing is."

"I promise," I told him.

Just as I was returning to my companions a huge dragon lumbered into view, and when it caught sight of us it shrieked again—and then cowered behind the biggest pillar it could find, sniveling.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" I asked. "You're a dragon. You should be munching our beaks, not mumbling behind your claws. Why are you hiding?"

"I—I've never seen a human before," he admitted. "You are a human, aren't you?"

"Last time I checked," I answered with a wry smile.

"And what are you doing—down here?" he asked. "We don't get many of your kind down here. Your souls hang out in ring nine until they reincarnate."

"I got sucked down here by some vortex that spit me out into Bob's kitchen," I explained. "We're on our way to see Hades and see if he can send me home."

"Hades, you say?" the dragon asked, coming out into the open. "Oh, I haven't seen him since I just hatched from my egg. I'd certainly love to come along."

"Why not?" I said, looking over at Bob, who nodded his agreement. "The more the merrier."

"Gold!" shouted Pecos from somewhere up ahead. "I found me some more gold!"

"By the way, would you mind terribly if we had you carry some of Pecos's booty? He's got us so loaded down we can barely move," Bob mentioned as he brandished a couple of bags and moved his head to indicate my bags as well.

"Load them on, kids," he said with delight. "I live for helping people, you know. I've always fancied I would be great in some sort of job of that nature. But you have no idea how hard it is for a good dragon to get people to appreciate him. I wonder if we could get the Big Cheese to write up some kind of a law stating that dragons deserve to be treated better."

"What a noble idea," I told him as I patted his shoulder. "Perhaps when we get there you should bring that up."

And so our most unlikely group continued on through the darkness of the caves until at last we began to descend. Bob squeezed my hand, which I realized with a start he'd been holding for some time now, and said, "This last jaunt down should do it. Are you sure you don't want to stay? I make a mean cup of tea."

"I would hope you'd have more redeeming qualities than that if you wanted to turn a girl's head," I whispered on a blush.

"I certainly do," he whispered back. "But if you go topside, you'll never know what they are, will you?"

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